“Think positive!” “I am strong!” “Believe in yourself!” Ever heard these? I’ve been reflecting on the idea of positive thinking and self-affirmation. While there is some real value in having a positive mindset, many of the quotes and statements that I come across just don’t sit well with me. The Bible gives us clear guidelines on how we should think: “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” (Philippians 4:8) Sometimes statements of “positive thinking," particularly statements of self-affirmation, just flat out aren’t true. Why should I fill my mind with lies, even if they’re positive? To counter this, I set out on a quest to find some statements of truth based upon Scripture on which to reflect and mediate. As I poured over Scripture passages looking for true statements that proclaim our worth, importance, purpose, and anything else we might want to tell ourselves to increase our confidence and self-esteem, something quickly became very clear to me: According to God, it’s not about me. It’s all about Him. Let me explain. The Bible certainly teaches that we are valued and have worth in the eyes of God, but our worth, beauty, and importance are not the focus of Scripture; if we try and make it all about us, we will quickly become powerless in that line of thinking. The reason we have our worth, beauty, and importance is completely based on Christ and what He has done for us. The focus of Scripture is on Jesus, His beauty, His power, His widsom, His love, etc. The Bible strongly discourages us from propping ourselves up in our own mind. Biblical thinking is actually quite counter-intuitive and often goes against what society tells us to think and believe. The world tells us to believe in ourselves, be strong, take pride in ourselves, etc. But consider the following:
With statements like these, the Bible teaches that God doesn't ignore those who are weak and humble. In fact, He often favors those qualities, and He uses those people for His own purpose and glory. Worldly Positive Thinking in Light of ScriptureThe worldly idea of positive thinking generally focuses on self and is very egocentric. This flies in the face of what the Bible teaches. The Bible instructs us to think less of ourselves and more of others. We are to have a humble mindset. We are to die to self. We must become less and God must become greater in our lives. Paul writes in Romans 12:3, “For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.” Be in the practice of testing everything against Scripture, and "taking every thought captive," (2 Corinthians 10:5). This way, if you're thinking positive thoughts, you can be confident that you're thinking positive thoughts of truth. The same applies to negative thoughts: if you are plagued with negative thoughts, test those against Scripture, because often times those thoughts are also lies. There is freedom in knowing the truth. (see John 8:32). Let’s put that into practice and examine a few statements found on positive thinking website: Worldly Statement: I make the right choices every time. In Light of Scripture: You know darn well you don’t always make the right choices. The Bible calls many of our bad choices sin, and the the only remedy for sin is to be honest about it with God and ask for His forgiveness. If our bad choices are not blatant sin, then they probably fall into the category of foolishness. Through the filling of God’s Holy Spirit, He will give us the strength, power, and wisdom to make the right choices every time. (Romans 3:23, 1 John 1:9, Galatians 5:16-25) Worldly Statement: I trust myself. I trust my inner wisdom and intuition. In Light of Scripture: According to the Bible, trusting in yourself can be a dangerous thing. Jeremiah 17:9 says the heart is deceitful. Proverbs 3:5 says to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” We are to trust in God alone and seek Him for our guidance. Trusting in yourself instead of in the God who made you, is like making an idol out of yourself, and is not much different than trusting in a golden figure formed by the hands of man. Anything good about us comes from God: He made us, He saved us, He gifted us, He leads us, He empowers us. Our trust should be in Him, not in ourselves. (Also see Proverbs 28:26) Worldly Statement: I draw from my inner strength and light. In Light of Scripture: This is very similar to the above statement. Apart from Christ, we have no inner strength and light. Ephesians 3:14-21 talks about God’s Spirit strengthening us in our “inner man” and giving us the power and understanding that we need. Without Him, our flesh is weak. It's when we acknowledge that weakness and turn to Jesus that we find true strength and light. (Romans 8:26, 2 Corinthians 12:9, John 8:12) Worldly Statement: Money comes to me easily and effortlessly. In Light of Scripture: If only it were as easy as speaking those words! God never promises us material riches, but He does promise to supply all our needs. The Bible tells us that hard work leads to increased wealth, and it also says that when we give a portion of what we have back to God, we will receive blessing in return (not necessarily material, but it could be). Some are blessed with great wealth for God’s glory, and others are blessed with simple means, also for God’s glory. We are to be content with what God has supplied. (Proverbs 3:9-10, Proverbs 10:4, Proverbs 30:7-9, Proverbs 24:30-34, Malachi 3:10, 2 Corinthians 9:6, Hebrews 13:5) Worldly Statement: I am smart. In Light of Scripture: For some this may be true, but for others, saying the words just doesn’t make it so. (Sorry if I burst anyone's bubble there!) We all have unique strengths and abilities, but for some, being smart just isn’t one of them. If you’re one of those people who are lacking in the area of intellect, and you lie to yourself about it, you’re only shorting yourself the opportunity to grow and seek out others in your life who are smart to help you with your shortcomings. While we’re not all blessed with great intellect, (and even if we are), the Bible tells us that any of us can (and should) seek out God’s wisdom. Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” James 1:5 says, “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” Positive Thinking From the Bible Now that we’ve looked at some worldly statements, let’s look at some trustworthy statements from God’s Word that speak to our worth and value. These statements are focused on Christ and what He has done, not on ourselves, and they are words of truth, rather than lies. These are not words to psyche ourselves into being better, but are words that are already true, that focus our attention on the One from who we can draw our strength and wisdom. We can cling to these words without hesitation. Look up these scriptures and meditate on those if you need to fill your mind with positive thoughts! (The statements with the “*” asterisks apply specifically to Christians, who have trusted Jesus for the forgiveness of their sins.) The "Scripture Support" references open up a link to the full Bible verse in a new window. Biblical Statement: I am wonderfully made. Scripture Support: Psalm 139:13-14 We were no accident. God made us with His own hands. Biblical Statement: I am loved. Scripture Support: John 3:16, Romans 8:38-39 God said He loved us, and proved it by sending Jesus to pay the penalty for our sins. Biblical Statement: I am valuable. Scripture Support: Matthew 6:25-27 God cares about us more than anything else in His creation. Biblical Statement: I am forgiven.* Scripture Support: Romans 3:23, 1 John 1:9 While it is true that we are all sinners, God promises to forgive us when we ask Him. Biblical Statement: I am complete.* Scripture Support: Colossians 2:10 Jesus makes us whole. Biblical Statement: I am alive.* Scripture Support: Ephesians 2:4-6 We were once dead in our sins, but Jesus makes us alive with Him through His death and resurrection. Biblical Statement: I am a new creation.* Scripture Support: 2 Corinthians 5:17 When we give our lives to Jesus, our old self passes away, and He makes us new. Biblical Statement: I can do all things (through Christ).* Scripture Support: Philippians 4:13 Jesus gives us the strength we need to do life. Biblical Statement: I am a child of God.* Scripture Support: John 1:12 God gave this right to those who believe in Jesus. A Better WayWorldly thinking is self-centered and prone to lies. Biblical thinking is Christ-centered (or others-centered) and rich in truth. When you remove the focus from yourself and start focusing on who God is and what He’s done, and when you start focusing on how you can bless others, you will naturally become a better person because of what He does in your life. Consider the attitude of Jesus, written about in Philippians 2:3-11: Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Instead of telling yourself how great you are and how much you can do, focus your thoughts on Jesus and how great He is and what He's done. Strive to be like Him. Embrace what He has already given you and walk according to His Spirit.
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This is a story of God’s faithfulness and answer to prayer regarding a lifelong friendship of mine. It makes my heart so full of joy every time I think about how God worked throughout our lives and friendship! I share this story, both because it’s encouraging to my soul to remember what God has done in my life, and because I hope that it might encourage someone else to put their hope and trust in God to work in their own difficult situation, whatever it may be. This is also a story of God not giving up on people. Distance, brokenness, failures don’t stop Him from loving you and those you care about, nor from accomplishing His greater purpose in the lives of His children. FriendshipA true friend is such a blessing, and I’ve been blessed to have one of these friends in my life. She’s one of those friends with whom you can pick up right where you left off, even when time and distance and brokenness has gotten in the way. My best friend and I met when we were about nine years old. We lived in the same neighborhood, and every now and then I would see her riding her bike around, and I wanted to meet her. Our brothers were already friends, so it seemed natural that we should be friends too! Despite her being the more outgoing one, every time I would start to approach her to say “hi,” she’d ride her bike back home, or run down the hill back to her house. But I was determined! Once I finally managed to introduce myself, we were inseparable from that point on. During the summers, we would spend several days at a time together. We’d play all day, and then she’d spend the night at my house. The next day, we’d play all day again, and then I’d go spend the night at her house. We never got tired of each other’s company. We spent our days reading teen magazines to learn all the fashion and make-up tips, playing outside building forts, singing all the songs from our favorite movies, having deep talks, and sharing secrets with each other. We even started an odd-job service in our neighborhood together, since we were too young to have jobs, but hungry for cash! Oh, we were such good friends. One of the things we often talked about was God. I grew up in a Christian home, but my friend did not. Sometimes I would talk to her about what Jesus had done on the cross for our sins, and while she was interested in what I had to say, she wasn’t ready to accept Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior. I prayed for her daily, and sometimes she would come to church with our family on Sundays. (Although coming to church with me at that age was definitely just another chance to hang out rather than out of a genuine interest in the sermon!) Nevertheless, she heard about Jesus both from our family and from the pastor. Changing TimesIn junior high, my friend’s parents divorced, and she ended up moving away from our neighborhood with her mom and brothers to an apartment in town. We were sad, but this didn’t immediately impact our friendship. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, and was generally willing to shuttle us back and forth so that we could still see each other. As time went on though, she started making new friends in her apartment complex, and I didn't get to spend as much time with her. Her new friends weren’t the type of people I clicked well with, and I think they were probably into a lot of things they shouldn’t have been. I tried hanging out with her new group of friends a few times, but I just didn’t really fit in. Failures and RegretsMy family eventually moved to a neighboring city, so it became even harder for us to connect. We talked on the phone often, but it was more challenging to hang out in person. One of the biggest regrets of my life happened during one of those phone calls. The topic of God came up again, and I asked my friend if she had accepted Jesus into her heart as her Savior. She replied softly, “No, but I want to.” Silence. I panicked. What do I do now? I should pray with her and help her ask help Jesus into her heart, but I’m too afraid to pray out loud! You see I was terrified and too insecure to pray with people. I had been my whole life. I didn’t know the right words to say, and I was afraid of sounding stupid. I guess that’s what it was. So I let the moment pass. Friendship fail. Now her eternal destiny is all screwed up because of me! It wasn’t really, because none of that depends on me, but that’s certainly how I felt for a long time after. Drifting and DistanceWe grew up in the days before cell phones, so it wasn't easy to get a hold of my friend. She was quite the social butterfly, so she was always out doing things with her new friends, and when I called her house, she wasn’t usually there. We drifted. We drifted, but I never stopped trying. She was my friend and I didn’t want to lose her! I continued to pray for her, despite our drifting apart. Faith and More FailureOne of the last times I saw her was on a Sunday when she came to church with our family, as she still did on occasion. This particular Sunday, the pastor prayed a prayer for those who would like to invite Jesus into their lives. It wasn’t anything unusual for a Sunday morning, but later that afternoon, we were walking up the stairs to my bedroom, and my friend out of the blue told me that she had prayed the prayer with the pastor that morning! I was ecstatic! And once again I didn’t know what to do or say. I should say something to help her know what to do next. I should help her study the Bible. I should teach her how to pray. But I didn’t know how to teach her those things. I didn’t really even know how to study the Bible very well for myself at that point, but I knew it was important. Again, friendship fail. I let the moment pass, like I had on that phone conversation months earlier when she said she wanted to ask Jesus into her life. I kicked myself and wondered for years “what if” I’d done it right? Fortunately for all of us, God doesn’t allow our failures to get in the way of His plan. My own inadequacies didn’t stop God from accomplishing His purpose in her life, but I wouldn’t know this for over a decade. Broken Heart and Unanswered QuestionsI think I only saw my friend a few more times after that day, and then I could no longer get a hold of her. I tried calling her so many times over the next months, maybe even years. But no answer. Even when I left messages, no call back. The last straw was when she actually answered the phone one time. I said “hello,” and I know she knew my voice, but she didn’t say anything. Silence. And then she hung up. Oh, my heart was so broken, and I started sobbing. I had so many questions. Why didn’t she want to talk to me? Was she ok? Did she know it was me when she hung up? Moving OnThe whole thing was starting to feel like a crazy obsession and I just had to let it go. If she didn’t want to be friends, I couldn’t force her. I resolved myself to stop reaching out to her, but I continued to pray and just trust God for His work in her life. I suspected that she was into some things with her new friends that she didn’t want to share with me. Whatever it was, I was heartbroken, and I had to move on with my life. Even though my heart was hurt, I continued to pray for her, and I hoped that one day God would allow us to reconnect. Life went on, and I matured and grew physically, emotionally, and spiritually during that time. I went off to college, traveled, started working, and got married. I thought about my friend often, with so many unanswered questions, and continued to pray for her over the years.
Good Ol' FacebookFifteen something years later, now that we had this handy tool called the Internet, I decided to do some Internet sleuthing (“aka” stalking!). Call me crazy, but I was still a determined to find my friend! It took a long time, because she had intentionally made herself hard to find, but one day by God’s grace found her! I could hardly believe it, and my eyes welled up with happy tears. Although she had used a different name on Facebook, I had managed to put together some shared connections and found her picture! The picture was of her holding her newborn baby in a hospital bed. She was older now, but it was definitely my friend! And she was a mama now! I excitedly poured over the rest of her Facebook page to see what I could learn about who she’d become. I looked over her pictures, including those of her wedding. And what made my heart the happiest was seeing pictures of her with her husband at church activities and going on a mission trip! I rejoiced that she was okay, that she likely knew Jesus, and that God had been faithful in her life when I couldn’t be there for her. He had watched over her and protected her throughout the years, when I was no longer able to be in her life. And if that’s where my search for her ended, I was content just to know that she was alive, happy, and that God was in her life. But of course I wanted to see her! Rejoicing over God’s Faithfulness Now came the scary part – reaching out to her. It had been a very long time, I still had a lot of questions, and I wasn’t sure how my communication would be received. I greatly feared more rejection, but I had to try. She had Facebook messaging blocked on her account, but now that I’d discovered her married name, I was able to track down her mailing address. I sent her a card in the mail with a brief note and my contact information, and put the rest in God’s hands. Now I waited. On June 28, 2012, my long lost friend sent me a message on Facebook! Nervously I opened it, and as I started to read, I could hardly hold back the tears. God is so good. Here is a snippet of what she wrote that totally blessed my socks off: I think about you and your family often. If nothing else, I'd really like you to know you were a pivotal person in my coming to Christ. Your's and your family's kindness and persistence definitely planted seeds that later blossomed. Also, coming from a broken home, I often reflect on your family unit and find myself looking to model that in my own home. What encouragement! Sometimes you just never know how God might be working in someone’s life, even when you can't see it. God had heard my prayers and held my friend tight in His hands, and I was blessed to be able to see the outcome of my endless prayers over the years. ReconnectingWe got together for lunch a week or two later and spent hours and hours catching up, sharing memories from our childhood, looking at pictures, and learning who the adult versions of each other had become. I asked her to share how her faith in Christ had come about. I was curious how much she remembered from our childhood, and what had taken place in her life since we were younger. Much like I suspected, she had become involved with some things that she wasn’t proud of. Her life went off track for a while, and amongst other things, she had started dabbling around with astrology, which opened her up to demonic influence and activity in her life. She told me some crazy stories about how she would wake up in the morning with big claw marks on her legs that weren’t there when she went to bed. There were other things too, but that’s the one I remember most distinctly. Naturally, she was afraid and turned to another Christian friend in her life. (Yay God for giving her another Christian friend!) That friend and her mom helped her turn her life back to Jesus. They prayed with her and told her that she needed to burn her astrology books to break the demonic stronghold that had formed in her life. When she did, the books went up in black smoke. After that, she was committed to Jesus and has been growing with Him since. I asked my friend if she remembered that day she told me she prayed with the pastor at church, but she didn’t. Even though it wasn’t a moment she remembered, God was faithful not to let her go, and I’m so thankful to Him for that. I believe that moment back then was real, but it was just a seed in God’s plan that would later blossom. We barely scratched the surface of all we wanted to talk about in that first reunion, but we continue to have lunch dates at least a couple times a year. We’re older now, and our lives are busier, but we have picked up right where we left off! A Picture of God's Love For UsI'm not so arrogant as to think I'm just like God, but I think this story provides a good picture of how God loves and pursues us. Maybe that's why He allowed things to happen the way they did. Just like I so persistently pursued my friend, even from the very beginning, so God pursues us. He chooses us to be His children and doesn't let us go. I didn't choose my friend because there was anything so perfect about her or anything like that, and I didn't keep pursuing her for so long because she treated me so well. In fact, she really wasn't a very good friend for a stretch of time. It hurt when she parted ways with me, but she was still my friend, and I still loved and cared about her. God chooses and pursues us and even lets us go our own way for awhile, but He never stops loving us. If we're being stubborn, sometimes He gives us over to our own devices so that we can see what life is like without Him, experience the consequences, and run back to His loving arms. God is deeply grieved when we turn away from Him, but He never stops loving us, and He never stops pursuing those who are His children. Lessons to LearnWhile my story is not your story, I want you to come away with a few things:
I found this little article buried in my email that I wrote a year ago, and I was encouraged to look back at this moment of my life and see how God was working in me. I hope it might encourage some of you as well! We live in a culture that values being strong. The ladies are told to be “strong women.” Strong men are more respected than weak men. We aim to have the attitude of warriors and conquerors of life’s challenges. Men and women alike spend hours in the gym strengthening and toning their physical bodies. There is nothing wrong with being strong, but there is a greater strength that comes only in weakness. Sometimes our own “strength” is a mere cover for weakness and insecurity that we know truly lies beneath the surface. All the positive thinking in the world can't change what's really there. God said “My power is made perfect in weakness,” and this has been a theme in my life the last couple of weeks as God is teaching me to rely on His strength. I’ve been struggling with feelings of inadequacy for life’s demands: Demands of my marriage. Demands of my job. Demands of trying to keep with the housework. Demands of planning ahead for the future. The more effort I put in, and the more I aim to please, the more I seem to fall short. When I feel like I’m giving it all I’ve got, and still not meeting the expectations of myself and others, it’s very discouraging. What more can I do? I’ve heard similar stories from women who have struggled to keep up, and I know my story is not unique. These other woman talk about how they were trying to do things in their own strength, when they should be relying on God’s strength. Intellectually I understand that, but spiritually and practically, I haven’t known how to grab hold of that truth and make it a reality in my life. I think it’s my time to embrace what God is trying to teach me in this area. At a time when I need it most, everywhere I turn, I’m being sprinkled with Scripture and truth about how God helps us in our weakness. Friends and family have been posting Bible verses on Facebook. The music at church included lyrics about our weakness and God’s strength. Radio sermons have been about it. God wants me to hear this right now. I’m learning that the more I come to terms with my own limitations and weaknesses, the more I can boast in God’s strength when He comes through for me. Having an attitude of humility rather than a souped up “Strong woman-I-can-conquer-the-world" mindset is both more honest and freeing to the soul. "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 I’ll be honest. The New Testament is an easier read than the Old Testament for most people. It gets to the point, and it’s easier to see how it applies to your life. It gives us succinct stories, answers to our questions, and great snippets of verses to quote regularly. Bada bing, bada boom. The Old Testament can get a little long in the tooth. Sure there are some exciting stories of the earth’s beginnings, some cool miracles, some comforting psalms, and wise proverbs, but much of it comes down to this king, and that battle, and genealogy after genealogy, and all the “thou shall”s and “thou shalt not”s. How is this relevant to my life? Why do I care who wins this battle, or how closely that king followed God? Why do I care how many sons that guy had? And why are there so many weird laws back then? These are all questions I’ve struggled with as I've read through the Old Testament, and many times when I’ve started, I don’t get much past Genesis or Exodus before I lose interest and flip back to the New Testament. My New Year's resolution back in January this year was to read through the entire Bible. This is something I’ve done a time or two before, but this time around I've found that God has opened my eyes to a few things, and I'm developing a greater appreciation for the role the Old Testament plays in my life and in my views of God. Hopefully some of these things will inspire you to read through yourself. 1. God’s Not Done Yet – Be PatientAs you read through some of the stories in the Old Testament, you’ll find that the world back then isn’t so unlike our world today. Sometimes the world just seems hopeless, people around us have lost all interest in the God of the Bible, and no one cares about His ways. Everything seems to be going downhill fast. I have found myself thinking on more than one occasion during my reading, “Man, that sounds just like today!” Nothing has really changed. But you know what? God is still here. People are still following Him, even after all those seemingly hopeless times throughout history. After periods of severe disobedience by God’s people in the Old Testament, a leader would rise up who turns things around, and the people would recommit themselves to following God. Sometimes this takes generations though. You have to be patient and keep reading to see the entirety of what God is doing. I’m realizing how small a blip in history my life is. I can only see the here and now, but God has been constant from the beginning of time. He’s seen generations after generations, good times and bad times, abundance and famine. None of those people living through some terrible times in the Bible knew what the end of their story would be. We have the advantage of seeing their “future” (now history), but at the time, they weren’t any better off than us. They didn’t know; they were just living in the moment. This inspires my confidence in God, knowing that He’s not done yet and that He survives the worst times of our world’s history. I just have to keep “reading” and wait for His next move! In your own life, you’ve probably been through some slumps that seem like they will never end. Marriage or money problems, sickness, depression, maybe even war depending on when and where you live. You might even be in one of those slumps right now. But you know what? God’s not done yet. He’s come through time and time again for people throughout history, and those people too probably thought everything was all over. Sometimes people even die before they see the end of the story, but I promise, God’s not done yet. So how does that help you if you might die before you see better times? That brings me to my next point about what the Old Testament teaches us. 2. Life Isn’t About You We don’t like to hear that, and this isn’t what the world teaches. The world tells us that we’re special, we deserve everything we want, it’s OK to do whatever we desire, and it’s OK to believe anything that sounds good to you. That’s all a big lie. As big a deal as someone like Moses or David or Solomon or any of the famous Old Testament characters were, they were still just a name in a long line of genealogies. They all did some good, if only a little, just like you. They all sinned, just like you. They all died, just like you will. And the story went on after them, just like it will go on after you’re long forgotten. Depressing? Only if you believe life is about you. So what’s it all about then? How do you fit in? The One constant from the beginning of time into eternity is the triune God Himself. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It’s all about Him, and the Old Testament shows that time and time again. God created, God led his people, God performed miracles that continue to be told to this day, and God sent prophets to tell about the coming Messiah, His Son, who would appear in the New Testament to save mankind from the eternal consequences of their own sin. All other people come and go, but God is forever. People may play a small role in God’s plan, but it’s not about any of them. Your perspective changes when you recognize that everything centers on Jesus, God Almighty. Instead of looking at everything wrong with your own life, or spinning your wheels trying to make something great of yourself, you seek to understand what God is doing in the grand scheme of things. You seek to know Him and to make Him known. When the focus is off yourself and your immediate circumstances, you find greater purpose in life. Your short time here on earth is a thread that God has chosen to weave into His story, even if you don’t recognize how. But he put you here, so that means you’re valued by Him! The Bible is full of many great leaders and many great players in God’s story, but all those seemingly insignificant names in the genealogies are part of God story too, and so are you. Each one of those names in the long boring lists of Chronicles had a life. They had jobs to go to, and kids to chase after, and sickness in their families, and arguments with their neighbors. Zoom in close up on any one of those names and you will realize how small each person is in relation to God’s big plan. It’s like looking up at a starry night sky and thinking about how far away and how vast the universe is, and how big the God is who created it all. It’s really quite humbling. 3. It’s One Big StoryIf you open up the Old Testament and read a few verses or a chapter, chances are you won’t feel particularly nourished or enlightened or see a ready application for your life. (Kind of like how most of your own days don’t seem particularly special.) The Old Testament isn’t like that. It’s about a bigger plan and a bigger story, and you don’t really start to see how everything fits together until you read through its entirety. It takes time! But just like life, over its course you can start to see how it all ties together, and you begin to see the bigger story unfolding. You will learn about God’s steadfast character as He interacts with people throughout time. You will learn about people in general, and how often you can relate to situations or to how someone else responds to life’s challenges. You’ll see God come through on His promises. You’ll just get to know Him. Not just about Him, but you’ll get to know Him. A Challenge and Some TipsI challenge you to read through the entire Old Testament. When you’re deep in the trenches of a boring section, keep going. Instead of trying to find little applications from each verse and chapter, keep your eyes open to the bigger picture. Skim over the genealogies if you need to, and just know that they’re there and that God had a purpose for them. Watch the story of God’s people unfold as He creates them, leads them, saves them, gives them what they want, saves them again from what they thought they wanted, and so on. The more you read, the more you’ll start to see reflections of your own life and your own time in history. You’ll see God more. You’ll see His full character and His thoughts and His ways of operating in people’s lives. What I’m about to write might sound like heresy to some, but I think I might be on to something. I’m going to suggest that it’s OK if you, a Christian, don’t have your devotional time every day. What?!!! While I write from the perspective of a woman, what I have to say may apply to a lot of men as well. A Background Story When I was single, I didn’t have a whole lot going on besides my day job. I was involved with some church activities, and visited my parents regularly, but other than that, it was just God and me. It was a time of my life when I would sometimes spend as much as two hours at a time reading and studying my Bible, and I loved it. In my pride, I thought this was a reasonable expectation for everyone, and I looked down a little on those who didn’t spend as much time being “spiritual”. And then came along my first boyfriend. Oh, the excitement! I finally knew what it felt like to be “twitter-pated” with love, and he was all I could think about. I tried to continue my lengthy Bible study sessions, but just couldn’t focus anymore. I remember sitting on my couch with Bible in hand, saying to God, “Sorry God! I’m sure this will pass, but I just can’t concentrate right now!” My boyfriend soon became my fiancé, whom six months after engagement became my husband. And so began a new chapter of life. Now I really struggled to find time for God. I knew it was important, but my former alone time, was now “us” time, and as newlyweds, my husband and I were inseparable. We didn’t really know how to do things apart anymore; it didn’t feel right. Eventually we moved past that phase, but then in addition to my full time job, my role as a wife was filled with things like cooking, cleaning, laundry, budgets, and all sorts of things that didn’t consume my time as a single lady. I was responsible for the care of another person, and I quickly found out that all my Bible study time hadn’t prepared me for that. I didn’t know how to cook at first, and I’d never paid much attention to nutrition or health concerns that I would need to know to be a good helper to my husband. The Church as a whole had not prepared me to be a good wife (even though I thought I’d be a great wife, with all the bible study I’d done!) I had studied all sorts of things about purity, and the role of a wife as far as submitting to and respecting my husband. But it was all spiritual and head knowledge, without any practical applications to actually be a helper to my husband, or how to show respect. (I quickly found out those things are harder than they sound!) Basically, I had to work overtime to compensate for my lack of knowledge and skill in these areas. What Does It Mean to Be A Good and Godly Christian? But back to my main point. For the first several years of my marriage, I didn’t feel like I was being a good Christian in the sense that I wasn’t reading my Bible every day, and wasn’t sitting down to pray like I should. My world was consumed with busyness and daily activity. What does the Bible say about all this? The “Proverbs 31 woman” is revered by Christian women everywhere as the ideal role model of what a good wife and woman should be like. Did you know that not once in that chapter does it mention her sitting down to have a “quiet time,” prayer, bible study, or going to church? Nope. She was busy doing things to care for and look out for her family! That was her role. It does mention that she “fears the LORD.” I have no doubt that she probably did pray and at least listen to godly teaching in the synagogues, but that wasn’t the focus of her time. Her attitude was one that had reverence for God, and out of that reverence for her Creator, she served her family. Everything this “ideal” woman did came from a place of communion with God, and it was likely an ongoing thing for her. As she worked, maybe she talked to God. It doesn’t say that, but if your heart isn’t in that place, the fruit of your labor probably won’t result in praise and blessing from your husband and children, like this Proverbs 31 woman received. Our Traditions vs. the Desire of God I was frequently (and sometimes still am) torn between how to use my time: I want to read and study my Bible, but I also know I have pressing responsibilities around the house, or things my husband has asked me to do. In addition to the Proverbs 31 passage, consider the following: Jesus to the Pharisees: “You are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death’; but you say, ‘If a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is to say, given to God),’ you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother; thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition which you have handed down; and you do many things such as that.” (Mark 7:9-13) This is like me saying to my husband, “Sorry, I can’t cook dinner for you – I’m giving my time to God and have to go read my Bible.” Or, “Sorry I didn’t iron your work shirt for today; I was too busy praying.” God doesn’t look kindly on that. He has called me as a wife to do good to my husband. To honor him and take care of him. Our Christian “tradition” is to make sure we spend at least a half hour doing our “devotions” every day, but sometimes, that just isn’t possible if we are going to follow His command of loving our neighbor or our family. Sometimes what pleases God is putting down my Bible and living it instead. So Should We Give Up Reading the Bible If We’re Too Busy? All that being said, we do need spiritual nourishment. I’m not writing this to give anyone an excuse to fill their time with busy activities and never spend some alone time with God. If you can’t find time for God because you’re “busy” on Facebook or watching TV or over-committed to extra-curricular activities, perhaps you need to rethink your schedule. You know what I mean. It took me years of marriage to finally find a sweet spot in my day where I was consistently alone with minimal responsibilities when I could spend 15-30 minutes reading my Bible. My husband and I already get up very early, so getting up earlier to find that time isn’t really an option for me. While he’s getting ready for work, I pack up food for him to take along to the office. We sit for a few minutes and have coffee together, and then after he leaves for work, I get myself ready and head off. When we get home from work, the routine is to cook dinner, eat dinner, clean up dinner, prepare anything for the next day, and have our “settle down” time together, which usually involves watching an hour or so of TV. While the TV part isn’t a priority for me, it is a priority for my husband to have that wind down time with me before we go to bed, so the together time is important for our marriage. But there is a short slot of time in the morning after he leaves for work before I have to start getting ready that I had been using to skim through Facebook. It didn’t seem like it was an unreasonable thing to do, as it wasn’t much time, and in a stupid way made me feel more productive to fill my time with Facebook and “squeeze” it in! One day I decided I changed my priorities. I thought, “Instead of reading Facebook, what if I read my Bible instead?” Since it was only about 15 minutes or so that I had, it didn’t really seem like enough time, but God is good. I was surprised at how much I could actually read in that amount of time, and even if it wasn’t a lot of words getting read on some days, what I did read was something that I could cling to for the day. You do need God’s Word, so you should absolutely strive to find time for it. But at the same time, it shouldn’t be a source of guilt for you, if you miss a day, a week, or whatever because you are legitimately busy serving your family. We need God’s Word:
I look back on my years as a single lady and realize that my extensive time in God’s Word acted as “fertilizer” for the fruit that I know bear as a married woman. I learned a lot in that time that that has stuck with me, and I’m glad that I used my time in that way during that chapter of my life. I may never have another time like that, and it built a solid foundation for my faith that has seen me through many hard seasons. But now in my current chapter of life, I do what I can. I rest in God’s grace and seek to serve Him and spend time with Him in new ways that might not involve sitting down for 30+ minutes alone with my Bible. I no longer feel guilty if I miss my daily devotional time because I am fulfilling the role God has place me in a wife. |
AuthorFull time office worker, full time wife, and full time lover of Jesus. I'm kind of a Bible nerd, and I have a passion for finding ways to introduce Jesus in a practical way to everyday people doing everyday things. Archives
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