What I’m about to write might sound like heresy to some, but I think I might be on to something. I’m going to suggest that it’s OK if you, a Christian, don’t have your devotional time every day. What?!!! While I write from the perspective of a woman, what I have to say may apply to a lot of men as well. A Background Story When I was single, I didn’t have a whole lot going on besides my day job. I was involved with some church activities, and visited my parents regularly, but other than that, it was just God and me. It was a time of my life when I would sometimes spend as much as two hours at a time reading and studying my Bible, and I loved it. In my pride, I thought this was a reasonable expectation for everyone, and I looked down a little on those who didn’t spend as much time being “spiritual”. And then came along my first boyfriend. Oh, the excitement! I finally knew what it felt like to be “twitter-pated” with love, and he was all I could think about. I tried to continue my lengthy Bible study sessions, but just couldn’t focus anymore. I remember sitting on my couch with Bible in hand, saying to God, “Sorry God! I’m sure this will pass, but I just can’t concentrate right now!” My boyfriend soon became my fiancé, whom six months after engagement became my husband. And so began a new chapter of life. Now I really struggled to find time for God. I knew it was important, but my former alone time, was now “us” time, and as newlyweds, my husband and I were inseparable. We didn’t really know how to do things apart anymore; it didn’t feel right. Eventually we moved past that phase, but then in addition to my full time job, my role as a wife was filled with things like cooking, cleaning, laundry, budgets, and all sorts of things that didn’t consume my time as a single lady. I was responsible for the care of another person, and I quickly found out that all my Bible study time hadn’t prepared me for that. I didn’t know how to cook at first, and I’d never paid much attention to nutrition or health concerns that I would need to know to be a good helper to my husband. The Church as a whole had not prepared me to be a good wife (even though I thought I’d be a great wife, with all the bible study I’d done!) I had studied all sorts of things about purity, and the role of a wife as far as submitting to and respecting my husband. But it was all spiritual and head knowledge, without any practical applications to actually be a helper to my husband, or how to show respect. (I quickly found out those things are harder than they sound!) Basically, I had to work overtime to compensate for my lack of knowledge and skill in these areas. What Does It Mean to Be A Good and Godly Christian? But back to my main point. For the first several years of my marriage, I didn’t feel like I was being a good Christian in the sense that I wasn’t reading my Bible every day, and wasn’t sitting down to pray like I should. My world was consumed with busyness and daily activity. What does the Bible say about all this? The “Proverbs 31 woman” is revered by Christian women everywhere as the ideal role model of what a good wife and woman should be like. Did you know that not once in that chapter does it mention her sitting down to have a “quiet time,” prayer, bible study, or going to church? Nope. She was busy doing things to care for and look out for her family! That was her role. It does mention that she “fears the LORD.” I have no doubt that she probably did pray and at least listen to godly teaching in the synagogues, but that wasn’t the focus of her time. Her attitude was one that had reverence for God, and out of that reverence for her Creator, she served her family. Everything this “ideal” woman did came from a place of communion with God, and it was likely an ongoing thing for her. As she worked, maybe she talked to God. It doesn’t say that, but if your heart isn’t in that place, the fruit of your labor probably won’t result in praise and blessing from your husband and children, like this Proverbs 31 woman received. Our Traditions vs. the Desire of God I was frequently (and sometimes still am) torn between how to use my time: I want to read and study my Bible, but I also know I have pressing responsibilities around the house, or things my husband has asked me to do. In addition to the Proverbs 31 passage, consider the following: Jesus to the Pharisees: “You are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death’; but you say, ‘If a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is to say, given to God),’ you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother; thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition which you have handed down; and you do many things such as that.” (Mark 7:9-13) This is like me saying to my husband, “Sorry, I can’t cook dinner for you – I’m giving my time to God and have to go read my Bible.” Or, “Sorry I didn’t iron your work shirt for today; I was too busy praying.” God doesn’t look kindly on that. He has called me as a wife to do good to my husband. To honor him and take care of him. Our Christian “tradition” is to make sure we spend at least a half hour doing our “devotions” every day, but sometimes, that just isn’t possible if we are going to follow His command of loving our neighbor or our family. Sometimes what pleases God is putting down my Bible and living it instead. So Should We Give Up Reading the Bible If We’re Too Busy? All that being said, we do need spiritual nourishment. I’m not writing this to give anyone an excuse to fill their time with busy activities and never spend some alone time with God. If you can’t find time for God because you’re “busy” on Facebook or watching TV or over-committed to extra-curricular activities, perhaps you need to rethink your schedule. You know what I mean. It took me years of marriage to finally find a sweet spot in my day where I was consistently alone with minimal responsibilities when I could spend 15-30 minutes reading my Bible. My husband and I already get up very early, so getting up earlier to find that time isn’t really an option for me. While he’s getting ready for work, I pack up food for him to take along to the office. We sit for a few minutes and have coffee together, and then after he leaves for work, I get myself ready and head off. When we get home from work, the routine is to cook dinner, eat dinner, clean up dinner, prepare anything for the next day, and have our “settle down” time together, which usually involves watching an hour or so of TV. While the TV part isn’t a priority for me, it is a priority for my husband to have that wind down time with me before we go to bed, so the together time is important for our marriage. But there is a short slot of time in the morning after he leaves for work before I have to start getting ready that I had been using to skim through Facebook. It didn’t seem like it was an unreasonable thing to do, as it wasn’t much time, and in a stupid way made me feel more productive to fill my time with Facebook and “squeeze” it in! One day I decided I changed my priorities. I thought, “Instead of reading Facebook, what if I read my Bible instead?” Since it was only about 15 minutes or so that I had, it didn’t really seem like enough time, but God is good. I was surprised at how much I could actually read in that amount of time, and even if it wasn’t a lot of words getting read on some days, what I did read was something that I could cling to for the day. You do need God’s Word, so you should absolutely strive to find time for it. But at the same time, it shouldn’t be a source of guilt for you, if you miss a day, a week, or whatever because you are legitimately busy serving your family. We need God’s Word:
I look back on my years as a single lady and realize that my extensive time in God’s Word acted as “fertilizer” for the fruit that I know bear as a married woman. I learned a lot in that time that that has stuck with me, and I’m glad that I used my time in that way during that chapter of my life. I may never have another time like that, and it built a solid foundation for my faith that has seen me through many hard seasons. But now in my current chapter of life, I do what I can. I rest in God’s grace and seek to serve Him and spend time with Him in new ways that might not involve sitting down for 30+ minutes alone with my Bible. I no longer feel guilty if I miss my daily devotional time because I am fulfilling the role God has place me in a wife.
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AuthorFull time office worker, full time wife, and full time lover of Jesus. I'm kind of a Bible nerd, and I have a passion for finding ways to introduce Jesus in a practical way to everyday people doing everyday things. Archives
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